The weather was windy and… you know, fuck the weather. Why does it get to have the bloody introduction here. This is my story damn it. I’m gonna tell it how ever I want!
I was walking home from such a lovely day at work. Those bastards. The customers were pissy all day long. Complaining about this and that. Not realizing it’s not my fault our cooks suck and couldn’t even make toast! Unfortunately their tips reflected it perfectly too. Five dollars, three fifty, oh and my favorite, seventy-five cents. Do they not realize how much I busted my ass for them?
Well, I made the wonderful mistake of walking right up to that asshole before he left and throwing his change back at him. “Here Sir, you obviously forgot something. You must need it a lot more than me.” It’s safe to say that’s when and where my manager decided to talk me into the back.
“Sally, look, I don’t want to say this but,” Of course he meant to say it, his face had that ugly smug look it always did. Like just because he bought clip on ties he was better than all of us. “we’ve had quite a few complaints today. I’m sorry to say that this isn’t the first time either. We’re going to have to let you go.”
I didn’t waste two seconds before throwing my apron in his face and storming out of the place. I flicked off every single one of those fuckers too as I made my way to the door.
Which brings me back to the beginning of the story with that stupid wind. As if my day wasn’t shit enough already, the wind decided to fuck up any smidge of vanity or beauty I thought I had and blow my hair right into my damn face. I could barely see.
I was just about home and getting the stupid hair out of my face. That’s when I saw it. Bob’s fucking trashcan, placed ever so lovingly on my side of the god damned driveway. It’s bad enough I shared a car park with that fat slob but every week he chooses to place his can as far over my side as he possibly can. I kicked at the can and threw it down the street, watching it roll all the way down. Have fun chasing after that one tubs.
I entered my house and my cats greeted me at the front door, at least I didn’t mind that too much. But what’s this, a pile of bills and three missed calls from my ex-mother-in-law. Fan-fucking-tastic. My day truly could not have gotten much worse. But I dare not say it at the moment. I may seem cynical or pessimistic, but I still believe in Karma.
Anyway, I sat down with the kitties, took my shoes off, and finally got a chance to relax. And that’s the exact moment I remember, I didn’t have a fucking job in the first place… What the fuck? That’s also when those lovely white walls began to reappear. All cushioned and padded for my convenience.
I wonder if the boys will believe this one. Ha.