Tag Archives: inspiration

Living (and writing) With Depression and Anxiety

Living with depression and anxiety is hard. Very heard in fact, and I would never wish it on anyone. It’s not fun at all. But like many people out there I do it. I cope. Because I have to. It’s especially hard for me because I have so many things I genuinely WANT to do. Writing, drawing, reading, yard work even! I just completely lack the motivation and energy needed to get these things done. But oh, how I wish I could just wake up in the morning and do all these things, one after another, and all in the same day no less! That’s how it used to be, but not recently. I wish I could get up and have a giant list of tasks, and things, and chores that I plan to do all day, and not shut down. Not get a sudden crippling stomach pain. I really do.

And for any of you who may be out there that say “Oh, depression and anxiety isn’t real, it’s all in your head.” Well for one, of course it fucking is genius. It’s called a MENTAL illness. And for those who say, “Oh, just get up and do something. Just get over it. It’s not that hard.” It is hard actually. And to both of these types of people I say “Bye!” You can leave right now and never come back, because I am done with people like this.

Back on subject! Besides complaining about my illnesses, I’m really just wanting to talk about my writing.

It’s hard for me to start on a project, whether it be a brand new idea or just going back and finishing off an old story. I don’t feel the inspiration, motivation, or energy needed to accomplish it. And I need to slowly do that. Think of creative and fun ways for me to get back into writing. Because even as I just write this simple post, I’m having terrible stomach pains and want to just shut my laptop. But I won’t!

I don’t want to stop writing, or rather, being a writer. I just can’t and I won’t. I’ve always enjoyed it and I always will. No matter if it’s as easy as walking, or a very difficult task that takes me hours just to start. I’m going to write. It’s the fulfillment of being able to let all those words out of your head that just seem to be bouncing around that I want. Being about to create whole other worlds and people. And being able to let your feelings just bleed onto the page, rather then off your skin. It’s a great feeling once I finish a piece, and even once I get started writing it. The problem is just getting started.

So this post is a bit of a mess and all over the place, and I apologize. What I’m trying to say is I’m not going to let whatever is bringing down the rest of my life stand in my way from the one true thing I’ve always loved. And that if you’re having similar problems you shouldn’t either. It doesn’t even have to be writing that’s your one true passion. Just know that, if you’re dealing with mental illness or just tough times, don’t let anything stand in the way of doing what you love. Fight it and break through the impenetrable wall that it’s built itself on. Because I know, and you know, we can do it.

Have any tips for getting my inspiration mojo back?

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Filed under Non Fiction, Rant

A Writer’s Day: 16

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve written anything and I’m not proud of that fact. Writing used to be all I cared about. It used to be my escape from the world, reality, and even my own thoughts and fears. It was the one thing I could do to take my mind off everything and really enjoy myself. I was happy about the content I was creating and happy about all the great people I was meeting as well as the great tips I was learning from said people. But then I just stopped.

I fell out of writing. You could say I fell out of love with writing. I’m not sure why or what made me stop. I just slowly moved away from writing and into other things. I drew for a while, then moved to a few different games in that time. But now I want to write, again.

I want to get back into it and have that great feeling when I’m creating something wonderful. I want to feel that satisfying feeling of finishing a story. I want to remember what it’s like to write and write and just write all day long! Looking forward to waking up and doing early morning writing sprints, then spending the rest of the day working on other projects. World building, planning, summary’s, character development. I want to do it all again. Times where I knew I should’ve been in bed but couldn’t pull myself away from my story even if it was 3am.

I NEED it back. Writing was, at one point, the only thing to give me happiness and enjoyment. I feel like if I get back to that I’ll be in a much better state than I am currently. Continue reading

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Filed under Writer's Day

The Day The Inspiration Stood Still

Today’s prompt is to write about your earliest memory. Well I have already written about that exact thing before. So this idea bores me. Instead, I will just do some musing and oozing of ideas and such I suppose. More rambling than anything.

Why is it that writing can be so easy one moment, and then in the next it is the most difficult thing to be accomplished by a human being?

Recently I’ve been lucky enough to see both extremes of this writer’s spectrum. It started with the former. I was so happy and into my writing, I didn’t want to stop. I was planing and plotting my NaNo novel. I have outlined the whole thing, coming to a “final” outline of 2,094 words. This is both scary and exciting for me. Mostly because like I’ve said before, I never outline. I have a few ideas in my head and then I just write the thing. That’s it. No more. No less. This is the first time I’ve ever tried to pre-plan more than a few ideas for a story let alone a whole detailed outline. But this outline has made me feel great and excited about my story. So much so to the point where I just want it to be November already so I can start it. It’s taking everything I have not to open it up and write more on it right now.

At the beginning of this week I was also pumping out short stories and flash fiction like it was nothing. I had no problem coming up with an idea and writing. Or even just writing before I had the idea. It was great. I never wanted it to end. But unfortunately all good things come to an end.

This brings me to the past two days. Mostly tonight though. I’ve barely written a thing. I have a few ideas in my head but not sure which to go with. And other than those few, I can’t think of anything to write. I don’t want to use prompts, but I don’t want to go back to my original novel. But I also don’t want to really continue on this new fantasy I started. Nothing is left. I have no ideas and no motivation or inspiration to write. I just sit at the computer and struggle to even put a word down. I had to sit down and force myself to write earlier just to get 600 words for my #writechain. It wasn’t pretty or very fun. And neither is this whole not writing thing when I want to write. I love writing but I just can’t. No ideas. Too many ideas. No motivation. No inspiration. No creation. Nothing. I’m very stuck and I’m not sure which way to go from here. I suppose only time will tell.

I just wish more than anything to write. But I’m also stuck in the fact that I want to try too many things. Do I start a new novel, maybe a short story, perhaps a novella, or what about just a 300 word piece of flash fiction. There’s also working on the dozens of old projects I have. But with all these possibilities, not even one thing or idea is jumping out at me. I’m just stuck.

So instead of trying to pick and idea or piece together an idea. I will sit here and continue to write uninteresting blog posts to entertain a select few.

So, I’ll ask you. What should I do? What should I write?

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Filed under 30 Day Blog Challenge, Rant

Things I Know About Writing

I have been writing for most of my life. Which is a relatively short time considering that some authors don’t publish their first novel until they are 80. Now I don’t know everything about the craft, but there are a few things I know. Or rather I think I know. Or at least might help out and give you a bit of knowledge on the subject. These are by no means a way to live your writing life. But just tidbits here and there that I’ve picked up along the way.

This will be broken up into multiple posts too for shorter readings. As I think up more I will add more posts. There will also be specific posts on some of these subjects in the future. I don’t really have any authority on these subjects or reason to think I know what I’m talking about, but I like to think I do and share what I know.

Write A Lot and Often

If you wish to be a writer, write.

–Epictetus

This is probably the most important one to do and to know out of all of these. Write, just write. Anywhere, everywhere. Anything, everything. Play with setting, genre, characters. This is especially important, I believe, when you’re just starting out. This gives you a chance to grow, practice, and hone your skills, all while finding out where you best fit in this crazy writing world of ours

Write a journal or a short story. Just write something. It doesn’t matter if you write on a bar napkin every night about the regulars. That’s character development, and it’s also writing.
If you can, write every day. If not, set times aside for yourself to just sit down and write. No interruptions or distractions. Just you and the words.

Most important, like I said, especially if you’re just starting, is to write as much as you can about anything. You can stick to one story, or play with a few ideas. The point is you’re getting words down and practicing. Continue reading

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Filed under Links, Non Fiction, Writing Tips